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Don't Dress For Dinner, February 2008, page one

Jacqueline (Gina Marie Paro) is off to her mother's for the weekend.  She thought her husband Bernard (Robert Lunde) would be all alone at their country cottage, but no.  He's invited his good friend Robert to visit and reminisce.  Bernard has even hired a cook.
But Robert (Christopher Berrien) is secretly Jacqueline's lover!  After canceling her trip to her mother (MUCH to Bernard's consternation), she warmly greets Robert at the door. With Jacky out of the room, Bernard explains his problem.  Bernard has a lover, Suzanne, and she's due to arrive at any minute.  To save his marriage, Bernard asks Robert to pretend that Suzanne is his lover.
Robert tries to deny this plan fruitlessly, and when Bernard tells Suzanne the scheme over the phone, it's all fixed.  Well, Bernard thinks so, anyway. Bernard explains that Robert is bringing a girlfriend, all the while Robert is denying everything.  Jacky is a bit upset about this for some reason.  Jacky and Bernard go food shopping, leaving Robert to await Suzanne.
Suzette (Amy Rucci), the cook, arrives.  Since she introduces herself as "Suzy," Robert thinks this is Suzanne and starts briefing her with all his intimate details, to support the premise that she is his girlfriend. This includes that fact that she will be sharing a room with Robert.  Suzette is thrown by this arrangement, but she agrees to play along for a little extra (monetary) consideration.
Having gotten their story straight, or so they think, Robert introduces "his" girlfriend to Jacky and a totally confused Robert.  Suzette rattles off Robert's vital stats to prove the autheticity of their relationship. With Jacky out of the room, Suzette's true identity is revealed.  Too late, Bernard realizes he never told Robert about hiring a cook.  They hastily revise the plan.  Robert, at least, manages to get Suzette a separate room.
Bernard of course blames Robert for this disaster.  Robert reminds Bernard that he never mentioned a cook.  Suzette goes into the kitchen with Jacky "just to help out" until the "real" cook arrives. Suzanne (Meagan Kinney) arrives and is shocked to find out that now she has to be the cook.
Suzette the cook lover gives her apron to Suzanne the lover cook and in turn gets Suzanne's fur coat (a gift from Bernard) which is made out to be a gift from Robert, further infuriating Jacky. Bernard tells Suzanne his plans for getting Jacky out of the way so he can sneak down to her room later.  Robert, seeing Jacky head into the room, warns Bernard by thumping him.  This spills Suzanne's drink on him; he goes upstairs to change.
Jacky, having also gone up to change, comes down during another Bernard-Suzanne moment.  Once again, Robert thumps a warning and gets sauce on his shirt.  Once again, he goes up to change. Also told to go change, Suzette comes out in the only other outfit she has.  Bernard engineers a quick alteration.
After some tugging and yanking, and a belt from Suzanne's overnight bag, Robert and Bernard are very satisfied with the result. And just in time.  Suzanne comes in to announce dinner is served.


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