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An Evening of One-Acts:
Thursday Is My Day For Cleaning &
Stiff Cuffs, February-March 2006

Thursday...
Louise McFadden (Joan Perkins-Smith) has shot her vacuum-cleaner and has called the police to turn herself in.  The police, however, are more focused on filling out forms and ask Louise a litany of increasingly-bizarre questions about her personal life.
She is interrupted by a knock at the door from a deaf-mute vacuum-cleaner repairman.  They communicate through notes passed through the mail slot.  She even gets an origami swam from her unseen correspondent. Louise pours out the story of the men in her life.  When it turns out the deaf-mute hasn't been listening (!) she shoots the door.  She then has to contend with a phone that just will not stop ringing.

Stiff Cuffs
Haynes Kittridge (Rebecca Meakin) is doing her wash at a Laundromat on New Year's Eve.  She discovers the change machine is out of order.  She stops herself (with some difficulty) from cleaning the entire room and sits down to read. Her reading is interrupted by the arrival of Billy Allman (Enrico DiGiacomo) who tries to pay her to leave.  He plans to meet up with Julie (his best-friend's wife) so they can run off together--this is where they first met.
Billy is worried because Julie is late, which is unlike her.  He suffers a panic attack, and Haynes' veneer of calm is cracked, too.  She talks him down with a game of Stiff Cuffs.  Having warmed to each other, they discuss their philosphies regarding relationships. She chides him for not thinking through his plan to leave with Julie.  He claims her search for perfection prevents her from taking a chance on anyone.  A sportscar arrives.  Haynes takes her laundry and leaves, and in walks...
...NOT Julie.  It's a very strange man (Joshua Guenter) with an overheating Fiat.  He calls the Auto Club and goes to the restroom to wash up.  Haynes returns to tell Billy that she doesn't want to be a woman who never takes chance. The man comes back in and tells "the couple" about the delights of having wonderful things happen to you if you keeping looking up, then leaves for the repair shop.  Billy and Haynes decide it doesn't have to be midnight to start something new.
Al LaPlant photos


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