Don't Dress For Dinner, February 2008, page two

Robert is Jacqueline's lover.  Suzanne is Bernard's lover.  Suzanne was to pretend that she was Robert's lover to fool Jacky, but Suzette, the cook, showed up first and Robert thought she was Suzanne.  So now Suzette is pretending to be Robert's lover, and Suzanne is pretending to be the cook.  All set?  Strap in.

With her husband still in the dining room, Jacqueline (Gina Marie Paro) glares at Suzette (Amy Rucci) and Robert (Christopher Berrien).  Robert has claimed that Suzette is really his niece pretending to be his lover so that Jacky's husband wouldn't suspect their own affair. Jacky has found love notes that she is convinced are from Suzette.  She now thinks Suzette is Bernard's lover and that Robert knew about it all along.  She douses Bernard (Robert Lunde) with soda prompting yet another shirt change.
Jacky vents to Suzanne (Meagan Kinney) about having her husband's mistress in the house.  At first, Suzanne thinks she means her, but when they both believe that to be Suzette, they plot revenge. Suzette and Robert come back in to freshen their drinks and Jacky and Suzanne take out their frustrations on them.  Jacky admits to Suzanne that she, too, has a lover.
Bernard has no clean shirts left, so he settles for nightwear.  Jacky confronts him about his affair with Robert's niece and threatens to dress for action too. Robert also is out of clean shirts, and Bernard wants to know why Suzette is Robert's niece.  She says it's to protect everyone from her jealous husband.
Bernard, however, has learned from Suzanne that Jacky has a lover.  Bernard discovers he doesn't like this at all and describes the horrors he will inflict on the scoundrel.  Fortunately for Robert, Bernard does not know who is the scoundrel. Jacky returns, also in nightwear, and dismisses Suzette so she can discuss matters concerning her "family."  She reveals that Robert is the scoundrel.
Bernard attacks Robert and is about to do terrible things to Robert's anatomy when they are interrupted by the arrival of... ...Suzette's jealous husband, George (Edwin R. Lewis, III).  He's come to take the cook home so naturally Jacky calls for Suzanne, who is also in nightwear.
After being given the runaround, George demands to know where his wife is.  After being told that she is (a) not here, (b) somebody's niece, and (c) somebody else's mistress, George confronts the men.
Convinced there's an orgy going on with his wife at its center, George goes on the attack. The women, however, succeed in subduing him.  He agrees to calm down and listen to the facts.  (Ha!)
The fact's all just a game these rich people play with fake lovers and phony relatives.  George actually buys this and he leaves with Suzette. With that out of the way and thinking that Bernard doesn't have a lover, Jacky claims she was only kidding about Robert being hers.  She just has a few last-minute questions.
Convinced that the love notes she found were to Robert from his lover Suzanne, Jacky wants to know why Bernard had them.  Well, Robert gave them to Bernard so his other lover wouldn't find them.  Catching on, Jacky accepts this and shuts up. Leaving Robert and Suzanne in separate rooms (they'll find each other in just a minute), Bernard and Jacqueline declare that the single life is too hectic and decide to stick to each other from now on.

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Other Theatre links:

In The Spotlight, Inc.
Pillow Talking—"He Said/She Said"
The Connecticut Callboard
Connecticut Gilbert and Sullivan Society

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